If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
