Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
