so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
