Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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