i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
