she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
