just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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