Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
