youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
