I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
