hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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