i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
