There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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