we're blogging at a bar
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
