I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
