She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
there is puke in my bra ... again
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
