I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
