so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
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You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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