Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So many bounce houses so little time
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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