Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize