I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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