Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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