i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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