Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
