Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
