normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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