It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
