I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
