I just cut my nipple shaving
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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