Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
