we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
