I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize