I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
