Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
