How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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