Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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