thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I currently don't understand fingers.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
