I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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