how can u be prego again
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
