i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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