I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
