the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
