I just saw a hot homeless man
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
