Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
