Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
someone threw a dead crab at me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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