Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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