I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
