If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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