At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think i got beer on your cat.
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