New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
