Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
