I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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