i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
