dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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