so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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