This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
