last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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