..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the condom got lost in my hair
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
