is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it hurts more in the daytime
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
